I am always worried when going back to school after a lengthy break. Not so much because I am afraid I have forgotten everything that I have learned but more so that I won't remember how to do it. How to listen intently during lectures, or engage the material, or write the papers. Then there also is the worry that I may not like it anymore. I mean I, like almost anyone, have a love/ hate relationship with school at times (as is already the case with learning Hebrew) but overall I enjoy it and at the best times I even love it I suppose that is what keeps me coming back. Today though, as I was walking to class equipped with my coffee in one hand and my notebook in the other I was worried that I was going to get to my seat and not be able to shake the feeling that I would rather be somewhere else. I kept thinking back to June and how relieved I felt with being done with school, college in particular. I remember thinking "finally no more papers!". But this morning here I was again sitting in my seat staring at the professorial, student, covenant know as a syllabus, with its lists of reading and essay assignments and suddenly the weight that had been lifted in June was back again.
In came the Professor, who promptly began giving his introductory lecture. He spoke about himself and his theology, and then about the purpose of the course. He explained that the course was about "finding ways to academically study the mystery, while still honoring the nature of it as a mystery". He talked about varied theologies and pushing cultural, and denominational boundaries, while paying due credence to history. In the professors brief lecture I suddenly became very aware of why I was here as I found my mind preoccupied with questions about the many things he had said. Rather than feeling daunted by the onslaught of the semester I found myself excited and intrigued to try and systematize the mystery. We will see how it goes...
Amanda
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