Sunday, November 22, 2009

An Epiphany A Long Time Coming

One of the requirements of seminary is that you do what is called field education. Field education consists of you being placed in a church as an intern where you get to experiment with and practice the different roles and skills of ministry. It can be likened to the internships doctors do or student teaching.
Students typically do their field ed. during their second year of seminary, which means that you have to start finding a placement by, oh, say, now! Yeah, by November of your first year! That's not to mention the large sum of people that already found and secured their placements by the second month of school. It can turn into quite the competition in some respects.
There are some of us though that have proudly put off the inevitable hoping that maybe some divine intervention would slow the clock. Alas, no such intervention as arrived and this last week I was left with no choice but to meet with my field ed. advisor.
Her role is, as indicated in her title, to advise me on what field placement might be best for me. Sitting in her office I had flash backs to the guidance counselors in high school where they make you take those tests and then tell you that your most suited to be a secretary, lawyer, or ice cream sales person. She wanted to know all about what I was looking for in a church, and what my home church was like and what I hoped to get out of field ed. Then came the "So, what are your long term ministry goals?" "Uh, um well, um...." Its kinda funny before I came to seminary I could have probably pretty accurately answered that question but at that moment not so much. Then came the "What churches do you think you would like to work at?" Well I had to confess that I was not one of the overzealous students here who had spent hours looking over the church statistics and had meticulously read the mission statements and after a long drawn out agonizing decision had found the one and only perfect church.

Ultimately, I answered that "I have no idea where I would like to work."

I left this meeting with a hefty list of church options to go and look over and then bring back my top few choices.

After this meeting as I was looking over churches, I was thinking. I was thinking how a part of me wanted to say that the reason I had no idea where I wanted to work had to do with the fact that I really didn't care. I don't mean in an apathetic manner, but rather I was just open to anything, send me wherever and I will figure it out. But, after some more thought I realized that was not quite it. It had to do with the fact that I didn't want to pick a place because the thought of leading a church next fall, after only two semesters of seminary was an absolutely crazy idea to me.

How was I to lead a church? I am too young, and need more education and more (experience, ironic I know) I mean I feel like a real adult only 10% of the time (and that's on a good day!).

Then I had an epiphany...

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